In March, two Central Virginia United Methodist Church clergy were suspended for marrying same-sex couples. WMRA’s Kara Lofton talks to the pastors involved and takes a look at where they stand now that the suspension is over.
The first time Amanda Garberwas approached by a same-sex couple in her congregation asking her to preside over their wedding, she said no.
AMANDA GARBER: I was their pastor, I did their premarital counseling, but because of the stand of my denomination when they asked me to officiate at their wedding, I said no. It was one of the hardest things I have ever done.
Garber said she felt like a coward and vowed the next time a same-sex couple asked her to marry them – if she genuinely thought they should be married – she would say yes. The opportunity came two years later, in the fall of 2014.
GARBER: This time by two women who were part of Rise’s launch team.
In fact, she said, they met as a part of Rise’s launch team, which was the group of leaders who helped evolve Rise from a student ministry at James Madison University to a downtown Harrisonburg church.
GARBER: When they asked me I prayed, I wrestled and I prayed some more and I had a deep sense that I was to say yes. I knew the consequences, I knew what might happen if I indeed presided at their wedding. And I’ve thought many times what I listened to most deeply was this sense of peace. This sense of peace that I believe is of God.
The consequences included the possibility that she would lose her licensure as an ordained minister and therefore her livelihood, and that her fledgling church would be abruptly left without a pastor. She did it anyway.
GARBER: That was November 1st. By November 3rd around noon I received a call from my supervisor.
Garber’s supervisor declined to comment for this story, but by Garber’s account, he asked her if she officiated at the wedding.
GARBER: I said, “yes, I did,” and he informed me that it was highly likely that charges would be brought against me because I had violated church law.
It just so happened that less than a month before Garber officiated a same-sex marriage, another ordained Central Virginia pastor, John Copenhaver from Winchester, also officiated a same-sex wedding and was charged. His supervisor also declined to comment.
JOHN COPENHAVER: A lot of people thought that this was an affront to the church, it was kind of an open rebellion, that is I was saying, I was willing to disobey the discipline that says clergy cannot do same gender marriages.
But for Copenhaver, same-sex marriage was not a political issue, but a civil rights issue of discrimination about which he needed to take a stand.
COPENHAVER: I was trying to be obedient to that part of the discipline that calls us to be inclusive and I thought I was being Biblically obedient as well, in my reading of the scriptures, at the same time knowing I was violating ecclesiastical law at the time.
His supervisor, and the Virginia Conference of the United Methodist Church, disagreed with his approach. By March, punishment had been decided upon through a complaint resolution: Three-months of suspension for Copenhaver, who does not pastor a congregation, but is professor emeritus of religion at Shenandoah University; and, for Garber, a one-month suspension from ministerial duties without pay. A church trial was avoided.
The bishop of the UMC Virginia conference declined to comment for this story. Instead, church officials directed WMRA to the statement by the Virginia conference on their website, which states in part, that church officials and the pastors are “not of one mind on matters of human sexuality.”
GARBER: I can say that there were moments of indescribable pain, but there were also moments of indescribable support as well.
Garber’s month without pay was reimbursed by Reconciling Ministries Network, which, according to their website, [quote] “mobilizes United Methodists of all sexual orientations and gender identities to transform our Church and world into the full expression of Christ’s inclusive love.”
And her church? They were
GARBER: Confused and hurt I would say… because there is just such a sense of how could people who claim to follow Jesus treat each other this way even if you don’t agree necessarily, isn’t there a better way?
As can be found across the blogosphere, for many members of the UMC, the answer is a resounding “yes, don’t marry same-sex couples.”
But Garber and Copenhaver both believe they did the right thing, despite the pain it caused them and their communities.
GARBER: At the end of the day I made a choice, a choice rooted in who I believe God is and who I believe Jesus is. My choice had consequences, and I stood by my choice every step of the way.
So would they do it again? They are both pretty cautious after the experience and say they have no desire to tear the church apart, but will follow their convictions in the face of what they view is a grave injustice.